After a recent trip to San Diego, I started to read ”Happy for No Reason.” In it, Marci Shimoff states that she was 13 when she decided to be a motivational speaker. She had just heard Zig Ziglar and she wanted to “do that!” I could relate to her story, though  not quite as certainly.  I mean at age thirteen, growing up in Puerto Rico, when the circus came to town I wanted to be a trapeze artist! When we went to San Juan for the “Coppelia” ballet and I saw Fernando Bujones glide onto stage, I wanted to be a (male) ballet dancer!  And when  my family gathered and grandfather asked us kids what we would do with our lives, wanting to make him proud I would say, “A dentist!”

So I didn’t have Marci Shimoff’s clarity at 13 regarding wanting to be a speaker, but I knew I wanted to help people be happier, live better lives, share an experience of joy. A big part of getting to be a great speaker has to do with learning from the best. Here are some things I’ve learned along the way:

1. Know your passion.

Why are you speaking? Why is it important? What will your message help build in the world? Great speakers, trainers and communicators know how to cultivate and nourish their passion. This is in addition to the to their skill in communicating with an audience, in addition to organizing the material, in addition to basic good delivery technique. To great speakers and communicators life and work are about purpose and passion.

2.  Heart to Heart. 

Great communicators connect with their heart to bring forth a shared message or experience. Once they make contact with that message or experience in their own hearts, they then extend out from that place to make contact with their training class, with their coaching client, with their student, with their audience. This is a subtle and very refined distinction. The best coommunicators can do it easily and even effortlessly. When it happens, everything shared does, in fact, come from the heart. The audience feels they’ve been moved by something they cannot quite explain. In this video, Eliot Cowan describes the process:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaV_n9-nQ48

3.  Learn to speak authentically.

Great speakers and motivators can move us with the power of their integrity, their humility. It’s not always about projecting your voice to make a room erupt into laughter or applause as Tony Robbins can so masterfully do.  Each person has a style, a lisp, a “tell” which in the case of the great communicators is embraced and used to advantage. Great speakers and communicators don’t sound like anyone else, they sound like themselves. They don’t sound like a recording. They don’t sound fake — and believe me, we all know what “fake” sounds like. When I train Customer Service Teams or coach a client on their presentation skills, this is one of the powerful basics … unlocking  your style and your words. It is powerful, honest, true. It resonates. It is remembered.  In this video, spiritual teacher Malidoma Some exemplifies that:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPGCyLjaPk0

Please share your thoughts. 

Which great speakers and communicators have influenced you?

I’ve just experienced one of the best theater surprises of my life.  I was told we were “going to the city for an activity.” We drove into Chicago.  I didn’t recognize the area. We parked on an alley.  We walked a block. A woman outside a bar said, “Man of la Mancha? Step right in!”  I grinned at my husband – “I looooove ‘Man of la Mancha’!” Could it be THE musical?, or something else?  Given the place, I didn’t dare hope for too much.

We entered a small room, part bar, part tapas fonda. People sat on small tables and right there, front and center, was a  small, grungy stage. Our hostess took us to our table. She wore burgundy scrubs. She told us the asylum patients would arrive soon.  I didn’t know what to think  — the space was small and crowded already. Nothing against the insane, but on such close quarters? I was  relieved to see my husband smile — she had been kidding – at least I hoped so.

We  ate some tapas served by a friendly, charming waiter. He was Tom Moore, one of the actors. I looked at the program and the music — Yes! This was the musical I loved — the one I dreamed of performing. Except that  in my childhood daydream I was Don Quijote … and that  part  was always played by a man.  

The food was okay, not great: gazpacho with ice cubes in it, empanadillas, marinated mushrooms, spinach salad, tortilla espanola — (not!).  But I was soon to find out : It wasn’t about the food.

I scanned the program over and over. Who was playing Don Quijote? All the males were listed with other roles.  Then I saw: A female lead was to be Don Quijote!  Dream coming true:  right here, right now.

As the show began, the first number grabbed my heart and my imagination and never let go.  ”I shall impersonate a man … Come, enter into my imagination and see him.” Diane Brothers proceeds to become Don Quijote by applying makeup to her face on the spot and transforming in body and soul as she delivers the first amazing musical number of the evening.  Throughout the play, I am moved to tears by her commitment to the character, her flawless performance and the passion with which she and the other cast members performed on that cramped tapas bar/stage … on that cold night, on that alley. Only in Chicago.

This was a spectacular, powerful, inspiring performance bringing back the dream, the quest — a testament to the power of belief. Also a reminder of what happens when, vulnerable, we confront our mirrors.  

If you live in Chicago or are visiting here in the next month (show extended through December), you must see Theo Ubique Theater’s performance of “Man of La Mancha.”  It is a timeless journey of love and respect for ideals … an homage to the power of storytelling and the craft of brilliant, passionate musicians and artists.

The fabulous cast?  Anthony John Lawrence Apodaca , Danielle Brothers , Trisha Hart Ditsworth, Kyle Greer, Sarah Hayes , Michael Herschberg, Kent L. Joseph, Tom Moore, Maggie Portman, Daniel Waters, Jennifer Young.

Please share your comments.

What performances inspire you?

I just recently returned from another trip to Mexico. Though I was born in Ponce, Puerto Rico, every time I travel to Mexico I realize that what the country and its people offer to me … the beauty, the lessons, the transformation … goes way beyond simply feeling “at home” because we share the same language. 

The first time I visited Mexico, shortly after my college graduation, the country gifted me with the rediscovery of my language, my rhythm, my identity. I had spent years in the U.S. learning how to be American and — unbeknownst to me –forgetting how to be Hispanic. My first trip to Mexico healed all that; allowing me to reclaim and reintegrate who I was, my purpose and my work in the U.S.

This time, the lessons of the trip were around resonance, healing and community. It is true that there’s always a tradeoff — Mexico is Mexico, ancient, dusty, rustic, with its water challenges and its raw environments. But also, Mexico is Mexico with its delicious fruits, art and architecture and especially its beautiful, warm, service-oriented people.

In Mexico, when you sit at a restaurant and you are left alone for a while, you are not being ignored … rather they’re giving you the gift of respect, the gift of space, the gift of time. They want you to take your time and enjoy yourself. Most Mexicans are wonderfully adept at customer service because they understand on a very deep sense the concept of empathy and true service, service with heart.

During this trip I had the pleasure of observing food being prepared with love, care and heart.  Humble people not asking for money but rather selling their wares, not taking the “no’s” personally. People in a village who, instead of setting their trash containers outside for the garbage truck to pick them up, wait for the truck and take out their trash so they can thank the worker and in the process build community. Just experiencing something as communal and simple as that is inspirational for what’s needed, what’s missing and what’s possible in our workplaces, in our management, in our communities.

Also on this trip I gained a whole new level of appreciation for the skill, handiwork and artistic ability of the Mexican people. The clothing, the weavings, the colors, the flowers, the beads, the masks, the crafts. These are a people truly gifted with hands that heal, hearts that understand, skill that transforms ordinary items into art.

My entire journey was a celebration of community and a recognition of the true spirit of service in community, through food, through bartered exchanges at the market, through contact with nature, amazing sites and well-grounded people. An inspiration for my heart, for my training and consulting work, for my work-in-the world.

Do you have a similar story?

How does travel inspire you?

One of the intangibles in my training work is the need to bring people to a place of wellbeing before asking them to learn something new. With some, this involves learning about empathy and respect for their colleagues and customers. Others need help managing their stress. Occasionally, a group or department can feel unappreciated, overworked or simply not aligned with the work. To succeed and truly make a difference through training, it’s essential to first address who people are and how they feel before introducing something new. Increasingly,  my work as a trainer starts with assessing personal and organizational wellness.

When people are in state of wellness, they sound, look, behave differently.

Here are some indicators:

1. Appreciation. Isn’t it true that when you are not well you tend to see the glass half-empty? Whenever we feel vulnerable,  sick or worried, we find it difficult to say thanks, or to see the abundance and beauty surrounding us.  But when we are well and in a state of harmony, we can see beauty and possibilities; we are not afraid to say thank you. People who are well are appreciative.

2. Generosity/Expansiveness. It’s difficult to be generous when we feel we are lacking in major ways. When we are not fully well, we tend to hold on, act from fear, keep things bottled, hold it in. On the other hand, people who are well, balanced and happy have an attitude of generosity and expansiveness about them. They can more easily reach out to others, give of themselves, share their resources, insights and advice. My friend Janey has worked to  help transform the lives of Vietnamese youth for many years. Please visit her site and consider contributing to her amazing charity in whatever way you can.

3. Flexibility (reach and breadth). People who are well are more flexible — not just physically, but also emotionally and socially. Just as stress and tension make us less flexible, wellness increases our flexibility in how we move, absorb, react and influence our world. As I’m sure you’ve observed, when we are not well, we are less likely to change course, thrive with changes, roll with the punches or take advantage of opportunities.

4. Joy/Humor. When we don’t feel well, we are less likely to find humor in situations. A good friend of mine when faced with a cancer diagnosis insisted that she and her husband would follow Norman Cousins advice. They rented funny movies from Netflix for a year and that’s all they watched! It made a huge difference in their life together.

5. Adventure. People who are well have a sense of adventure. They look forward to the next assignment, the new day, the next challenge and new experiences. This is quite different from the attitude of someone who is afraid, holding on, overwhelmed or exhausted — unwell.

How can you apply this?

• As a smart manager, consultant or business owner, you can use these pointers to plan for success. Assess your staff so that you can help them be in a better frame of mind before teaching them a new methodology or requesting their support of a new initiative. 
• By recognizing these traits (or their lack) in yourself, you can choose to embody the behaviors, feelings and actions of wellness and move towards increased wellbeing  in your life.
• Whatever your work or circumstance, know that you deserve wellness in your body, mind, spirit … in your work, your life and the environments in which you move.  If others don’t realize, speak up, have courage, ask for help, dare to create healthy change.

What does wellness look and feel like for you?

Please share your comments.

To be Known

To be a Voice,

a Color,

a Rhythm,

a Catalyst,

a Perspective.

To help Build.

To Inspire.

Why I Blog.

[Turn up your volume:]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTQfERb9HVk

Job losses, demotions and the economy are forcing people to earn money doing things they aren’t passionate about, not in their skill set, not even in their field. Is it possible to succeed when you find yourself doing work you dislike?

A reader writes,

Dear Adrilia, 

It is always good to be reminded of the things we love to do most so that we don’t forget that that activity is always there for us and … that there is a way to incorporate it into our daily lives…Then of course it does beg the question…How to bring enthusiasm and appreciation to all our activities regardless of circumstance…for indeed there are times we seem to have to bite the bullet and undertake less desirable assignments…or is this simply a question of inability to manifest? Or inability to change? I would love some feedback there.

Yes, often we have to do things we don’t love to do in order to earn a living, meet an agreement or help a loved one. Here’s the thing:  It is ALL part of our growth and of living our purpose.

In my training work, I constantly find people doing work that isn’t necessarily aligned with what they love to do. Part of my role is to help them see where this work they’re now doing fits into their life and work journey. Once they understand this, they develop an aligned and more joyful relationship to their work. This transforms the way they relate to themselves and to their clients. They become more driven, successful, invaluable to their employer. For example, when I train customer service staff, I help them see that the sky is the limit. And it is absolutely true! Getting trained in customer service and being good at it improves your selling, marketing, relationship, communication and leadership skills.

Going back to your question about things we don’t really want to be doing, the best approach is to find some joy in it, some benefit, some thing that the activity is bringing you. While you do the tasks, focus on that sense of gratefulness and enjoyment. We have to love ourselves even more for being willing and able to do things we don’t love doing. We always receive great benefit from whatever work we do well. Always! So if you find yourself doing something you dislike and you choose to put your heart into it, I assure you many good things will come to you as a result.

Sometimes, doing these tasks that we dislike helps us clarify the dissonance between the life and work we imagine and our present circumstance. Even without our consciously trying, deeper aspects of us are noticing and then going to work creating something better for us. How we attract the “something better” is by staying happy, open, grateful … and doing the work that’s in front of us with joy.

Hm. One more thought: Sometimes one small thing happens and you know you are just done with it! You know it’s time to move on.  If you choose to not act rashly or angrily but wait until you reach a place of clarity and centeredness, you will always be able to see the next step. Lesson learned, everything shifts and your situation transforms!

Please share your comments.

Though I wouldn’t know it given the snow covering the trees today, spring has arrived. The Great Blue Herons have returned, the robins have paired off, scoping out best nesting spots. There are buds on the lilac trees. It’s time to de-clutter, re-arrange, and, yes, hit the gym with renewed vigor!  It’s a bright beginning. The energy and momentum of nature makes this a perfect time to visualize, plan, dream, change things that no longer serve us … and manifest what will !

How?

In our businesses it’s time to dust things off, add living plants to our work environment, re-arrange workspaces, train and motivate staff with new energy and enthusiasm, sow seeds of possibility and success, unveil new programs and plans for growth.

How?

In our relationships it’s a great time to try new things, to seek new experiences, new shared activities, lighter and brighter cooking recipes, to renew vows and revisit all that we love, like and appreciate in our partner … pruning what needs it and nourishing the new growth we want to see develop.

How?

In our homes it is time to de-clutter, bring in bright flowers, throw away anything we don’t absolutely love or use, make changes to the color-scheme or decorative accents.

Remember: Physical space is mental space is spiritual space. Things we own or have around us do occupy space and attention. As we discard things we no longer need, especially when we do it with intention, we create space for something better to come into our experience.

How?

In our hearts and minds spring is a time to envision, to reconnect with the blueprint of our lives, with our purpose, with our wishes and expectations, with that which brings us joy. A time to take risks, take on challenges, move forward, chart new territory ahead.

For each of us, this is a time to reclaim our time, our space, our dreams, ourselves.  Just as nature’s splendor reappears more vibrantly all around us it is time to prioritize, rethink, renew.

How?

Make it a point to carve some time out of your busy schedule. Carve out time just for yourself this spring. Just for your growth. Just to envision what could be.  Just to nourish and support yourself. ‘Tis the season, and nature beckons us to do just that.

Then … if you are feeling generous (and courageous) comment here and let us know:

How do you carve out time for yourself?

What did you do? How did it go? What got in the way?

1. Match the trainer to the assignment.

Mary Poppins answers Jane and Michael’s nanny advertisement exactly as written, “rosy cheeks and all” to the confoundment of Mr. Banks, who thought he had torn up the ad into the fireplace! When choosing a trainer for your company, be sure (s)he will be able to speak your language, have an understanding and appreciation for your work, and some experience training in your work environment. Make sure the trainer can reach your people in a compelling way. This will help ensure the success of your event, and will also make every step of your interaction (assessment, contract, delivery, follow-up) smoother.

2. Tidy up!

One of the most memorable scenes is the fun-while-organizing routine where Mary Poppins makes a game of teaching the children to clean and arrange their room. Clear communication and organization is key when setting up a training event. When procuring a trainer, be sure to communicate your needs not just to them, but also to your people. Let them know why the training is important; why you believe it will make a positive difference. And, something very important and often ignored: Set your trainer up for success by providing a clean, organized environment away from interruptions for the training event.

3. Respect and honor people: all sorts. 

Mary Poppins treats everyone with appreciation and respect – the bird lady, the chimneysweeps, Mr & Mrs. Banks, the coronel, the dog! Don’t hesitate to communicate to the trainer your confidence and respect for your staff, their needs, strengths and challenges so that a relationship can begin to develop between them well in advance of the training event. Great trainers love this – it resonates with them. Great trainers believe in the unlimited capacity people have. They know of the amazing ability of people to learn new things, behave differently and change. Great trainers work to make this possible with love and respect.

4. Work hard play hard.

Balance. We see Mary Poppins work with the children to help them be patient, confident, do their chores, but also see them have great fun together. She shows Mr. Banks the value of lightheartedness, time with family, and even the value of sillyness. Most importantly she models behavior for him: how to provide discipline, love, support, respect and joy to his own family. A great trainer makes learning fun for your staff, while at the same time modeling discipline and right relationship. When hiring a trainer, be on the lookout for signals indicating they can truly enjoy their time with your staff, and that they’ll dare to bring some joy and fun to the event.

5. Listen, listen, listen.

Mary Poppins knows what the family needs because she truly pays attention. A great trainer constantly observes, looks, listens. The cues are always there: Are their (audience) eyes bright? Do we need a break? Are they a bit restless? Is this a breakthrough moment? Similarly, a great trainer listens to you the client and asks you the tough questions in order to develop and deliver the best possible training event.

In that way, a great trainer can deliver value that is “practically perfect in every way” … powerful, inspiring, unforgettable. Procuring a great trainer can be one of the best investments you can make in your company, and one of the most memorable gifts you can give to your staff.

Do you see other training lessons in “Mary Poppins”?

Please comment and join the conversation.

I hear it everywhere: jobs are scarce, there’s no money, people are failing. Let me set the record straight: People are NOT failing – financial systems may be failing. We, the people, are strong.

Newscasts are filled with alarming stories, fear, stress. Yet a friend writes, “My business in Alaska is flourishing!” Another friend says, “This is the very best time for my work.” And this morning, spring is in the air, the cardinals are singing and I feel blessed and grateful: for my health, for friends, for family, for the sun and the wind and the water, for the coyotes running around the neighborhood and their reminder of community, survival, focus.

It’s all about point of view. People don’t fail until they start to believe what everyone else feeds them about how bad things are. So it’s a time of great challenge … and great opportunity.

Choose your point of view carefully. It will determine how much joy, growth and renewed vigor you gain as a result of these challenges. Point of view can determine outcome.

How to make the best of tough times?

• Use the opportunity to discover new things about yourself: your likes and dislikes, your passion, what is essential to you.

• In your business, choose to deliver great customer service with empathy and with heart. Now more than ever, it is noticed and remembered.

• Realize the depth of your inner power and determination. Realize that no one can take who you truly are away from you.

• As your heart opens through the uncertainty or fear or pain you may be feeling, offer that up to the bigger Life which is pulsating within your life and dare to ask the right questions, celebrate all that you have, give thanks. 

We are the ones we have been waiting for. We are the heroes and sheroes of our lifetime.

Join the conversation!

How are these tough times affecting you?

What are you doing to navigate them?

We were in upstate New York at a retreat center – without television. Somebody set up a computer so we could watch the Inauguration. In between classes, we had time to watch THE speech and not much else. You know how a great presenter can deliver the same message and yet have it mean different things to different people depending on what they most need to hear? Well, to me some of our President’s most powerful words were about service. Reminding us we are all in this together. He used the words “A Spirit of Service”. I loved that!

I’ve written recently about customer service and the connection between service, life purpose and success. I’ve written about customer service with Heart. And what does all that mean? To me there’s definitely a spiritual side of service. When we truly serve, whether as part of a job in a customer service department, sharing our gifts as an entertainer, actor, business manager, teacher or motivator … when we truly from our hearts serve someone else or something bigger, we are uplifted. We become more. We grow. We are prospered. We are freer. We are inevitably and beautifully changed.

This is why I love to do training on customer service. To inspire. To connect staff to the mission and purpose of their companies. To connect people’s hearts with the work they do and the influence they have every day on the lives of others. To help people be more aware of the power in their customer service work: power to influence other lives for the better.

How does true service with heart feel? Watch, turn up volume, listen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZonmQZG0GQ 

To me, President Obama’s call to service is a great gift. When he calls on us to join together and serve, to pitch in, he is positioning us for success. He is calling us to look at what we have and from that place of fullness and gratitude to look ahead and move forward together.

“Your own story and the American story are not separate — they are shared. And they will both be enriched if we stand up together, and answer a new call to service to meet the challenges of our new century … I won’t just ask for your vote as a candidate; I will ask for your service and your active citizenship when I am president of the United States. This will not be a call issued in one speech or program; this will be a cause of my presidency.”– Barack Obama, Speech in Mt. Vernon, IA
December 5, 2007